Curb Your Inner Critic.
So you’ve noticed you have an inner critic living rent free within you, she's loud, nasty and consistently making life much harder than it needs to be. Your self confidence is fried and you're likely avoiding people and situations as a result. Now, as a heads up- this isn’t a post aimed to tell you to be kind and even make friends with your inner critic. As a Kinesiologist for over a decade now and I've have clients time and time again kick their inner critic to the curb. There’s no need to accommodate it, it’s not a permanent feature. If it’s time to kick your inner critic to the curb- read on..
Address any physical contributors
The first thing I would suggest getting on top of is any deficiencies or physical underliers which is likely contributing to your loud inner critic. Of course it goes without saying that checking in with a Naturopath is important here in order to evaluate this in depth. As a priority- address and manage any underlying conditions such as Pyrrole Disorder, PTSD or coeliac disease (to name a few). It’s also important to mention that getting your nervous system back into balance will go a very long way- so find a therapist to help that along- many Kinesiologists can do it, but, if not, a good massage and meditation is a great second option.
Below I've listed some common deficiencies resulting in anxiety which, increases how prominent and loud your inner critic is.
Common Vitamins and Minerals To Consider:
Vitamin B Complex: B vitamins, particularly B6 (pyridoxine), B9 (folate), and B12 (cobalamin), play a crucial role in synthesizing neurotransmitters like serotonin and dopamine. Deficiencies in these vitamins can lead to mood disturbances, including anxiety.
Vitamin D: Low levels of vitamin D have been linked to symptoms of anxiety and depression. Vitamin D is important for overall brain health and the regulation of mood.
Magnesium: Neurotransmitter function involves magnesium and helps regulate the stress response. Magnesium deficiency may contribute to anxiety and other mood disorders.
Omega-3 Fatty Acids: Omega-3 fatty acids, particularly EPA (eicosapentaenoic acid) and DHA (docosahexaenoic acid), found in fish and some plant-based sources, are important for maintaining brain health. Low intake of omega-3 fatty acids has been associated with an increased risk of anxiety and depression.
Zinc: Zinc is responsible for regulating neurotransmitters and plays a role in managing stress and mood. Zinc deficiency may contribute to anxiety symptoms.
Iron: Oxygen transport in the body relies on iron, and iron deficiency anemia can lead to fatigue and irritability, which can exacerbate anxiety symptoms.
Selenium: Selenium, an essential mineral with antioxidant properties, is involved in brain function. Selenium deficiency has been associated with mood disorders, including anxiety.
Potassium: Imbalances in potassium levels can cause symptoms such as nervousness, anxiety, and muscle weakness.
Step Back, Start To Review and Analyse It.
To curb your inner critic take a moment to analyse it from a perspective of reflection: Notice what it's saying and pull it by the tail. Consider where it's come from- is this your construct? Is it something previously said and reinforced that you began to believe? Imagine an ex boyfriend regularly undermined your worth, it's common to start believing what others say about us and begin to repeat and reinforce this to ourselves. The younger we were when exposed to these negative messages the firmer they are.
Is it relevant or actually true in this situation? Say I've broken a glass accidentally- something common, accidental which doesn't warrant a second thought. Someone with a loud inner critic might start saying to themselves- "oh you're so stupid, you always do this, why are you so clumsy?"
Break down this phrase and dismantle it-
Does breaking a glass equate to being stupid??
Not even a bit- stupidity and spacial awareness have nothing to do with each other so that ones out the window.
" You always do this, why are you so clumsy"- Do you though? Do you ALWAYS do this?
It happens, sure, happens to the best of us. Not always though. And ARE you clumsy?? In general??
When you notice the inner critic (and it comes in quickly so make sure to catch it) challenge its validity. Ask yourself if the criticism is based on facts or distorted perceptions. Often, the inner critic exaggerates or magnifies perceived flaws. This consistent challenging of the critic will not only become faster and easier but also begin to retrain it to take more of a backseat rather than front row tickets. There's no way around this one, to curb your inner critic, it needs consistent dismantling and questioning.
Themes To Unpack and Resolve
By regularly reviewing and listening to your critic- and when I say this I don't mean allowing it to dictate- just watching and noticing) you'll start to become aware of themes or origin of the critic. Do you need to diffuse any belief systems? Is it reinforcing a belief such as "You're not good enough/smart enough/capable to.. "
OR is it a voice that you've previously believed and taken on that actually isn't true or valid as we mentioned previously? In either case you'll have clarity on what needs unpacking, integration and resolution, whether its belief systems, a troubled upbringing- these are the threads that are still causing disruption and they warrant attention if you want to prevent future self sabotaging..
Attachments To Your Inner Critic
Check for any attachments to your inner critic. As we know, having a loud inner critic is extremely uncomfortable and even mentally crippling, but you might be surprised to hear that subconsciously many people often attach some value to it.
This one is a deep one, and requires us to be really honest with ourselves.
When you're in a relaxed state, check in with yourself on what life would be like without it. Yes, it would be liberating, freeing and relaxing.
Go deeper.
Are there any feelings of value that it brings you? It's going to be hard to curb your inner critic if you're secretly attached to it.
I've had clients feel like they'd get nothing done without it, that they need it to be productive. Some even feeling like it keeps their moral compass pointed in the right direction!
If this is the case for you, question it. But most of all, set yourself a challenge for a week or a month.
Detangle yourself from it's perceived value for just a week and firmly push it to take a backset when it chimes in. Then, test it out- do you actually turn into the aimless and unmotivated slob you think you'll become? The results will pleasantly surprise you. You'll still do the things, but you'll do them with more centering and clarity.
Retrain and Tidy It Up
In the same way you teach a toddler to do things independently, you want to use the same firm and consistent voice to retrain and curb your inner critic. Every time she pops up and tries to bombard your mind with insults- recalibrate it. Is it helpful/teaching/insightful or is it simply kicking you when you're down?
The aim here is to create a coach, not encourage an inner sergeant major! The difference between the two is that the sergeant major we've all seen characterised in 90s movies will knock you when you're down, consistently be yelling out how much of a worthless swine you are. It is never actually helpful. He just insults and erodes you regardless of when you're feeling great or feeling rubbish. Insults for free in prime real estate of your mind.. No thanks..
A coach on the other hand MOTIVATES and GUIDES you when you're in fine form.
She'll give you tips and tricks to consistently be improving. She'll probably take the time to consider the next step, how to tweak and do things differently in the future. However, they also know when to ease up if you're sick or injured.
That's the one you want in the front seat of your mind, the one that actually has something useful to say and has your best intentions at heart.
Firmly retrain your critic, pull her up when it barges in- is she helpful or just blindly critical? If it's the later, don't take it onboard. Not today. We're not doing this dance. Send the bully to the back row and flow on over to the gym class you've been wanting to try!
